Around Hanoi in 30 Dishes #3: Oyster Cháo (rice porridge)

Which of these dishes is the tastiest? The answer may surprise you.

In attempting to master this strange language, I immediately have the advantage over my Western peers as Cantonese (my mother tongue) is also a tonal language. Additionally, several words in Vietnamese are shared with their Chinese neighbours in the north. This can be compared to similarities between German and English. Examples of similar words include ‘dau’, which means bean, ‘mow goo’  which translates to mushroom, and ‘Coca’ which is a popular soft drink.

And like blighty’s love affair with the German-invented donor kebab, certain dishes are shared between countries with variations that make it specific to that country. The donor kebabs of Berlin come full of vegetables and make a decent lunch. The donor kebabs of London come full of meat and make a decent vomit on a Saturday night in Shoreditch.

One dish that the South-east Asian countries share is rice boiled long time with water into a rice porridge. Something like a watery risotto, it’s known as Juk to those in Hong Kong, Okayu to the Japanese, and cháo here in Hanoi. I stumbled upon a bowl of ground-oyster cháo at a stall on the shore of Truc Bach lake, a prosperous area north-east that is known for its seafood. Topped with fried shallots and a really meaty herb, It was great. Nourishing, delicious and well better than the stuff my mum used to make. In fact, eating here is a constant betrayal of mother’s home cooking,  I simply find everything here to be much better than anything she could muster.

An arm and a leg

That might be too extreme a statement. Alongside that we had plate of grilled snails that were pretty disappointing. I could have used the meat to erase my maths homework, and the taste was really bland. Becoming accustomed to quality food here, ordering a crappy dish really grinds my gears. But what’s worse, they cost five times the amount of what the cháo had cost. Let this be a lesson to me: like the English football team at global football tournaments, money doesn’t always translate to success here.